It is complete bxllshxt when people try to convince you that they’re too focused on their goals to cater to relationships. If you can text & drive, you can stay close to those who you consider important people, WHILE chasing your dreams.
Small entities go unnoticed only because we choose to ignore them. In the same respect, nothing ever “just” happens; we simply disregard signs of warning to further create illusions that will enable us to maintain a false state of stability. Denial. To be in denial is to live in flight of the imagination rather than reality. It’s ironic to watch how we so hastily deny being in a state of denial; we’re affronted by the very thought of it. There is no question as to why we become offended; we ourselves are fully aware of what is or what isn’t—the problem persists when we fail to acknowledge the fact. For instance—when relationships fall short of success there are several ways one may choose to cope with their loss. It’s no secret that women usually find the most difficulty in accepting the loss of a companion. The initial approach taken by most is to deny that anything has changed. Actuality of a failed relationship comes instantaneously; we are then suffering beyond devastation and therefore unable to adjust to the reality of what just happened. The previous statement not only displays some sort of justification on behalf of the discontent individual, but it’s the perfect example of the things we say to ourselves when we’re deeply in denial. Obsession. To have an obsession is to have an almost irreversible fascination with something, or someone. Our strongest state of denial leads us to obsession. The act of being extremely mesmerized by an illusion that doesn’t exist becomes that obsession. The major dilemma in having an obsession is that it consumes every ounce of your being and makes no room for that which is most important—self. There’s more irony in the situation—as stated before, we overlook signs of warning because for whatever reason, they are irrelevant to us at that moment…however, when faced with an unsuccessful relationship we convince ourselves that it “just happened” and are therefore shocked. Of the surprise we feel in that moment, we drive ourselves further into oblivion. We seek every opportunity to right our wrongs, or re-invent ourselves in hopes of becoming exactly who it is we think our significant others would rather have. We develop more obsessions than one. We more or less obsess over the moments that highlight our courtships in a positive manner rather than those that are seemingly negative. It is denial that hinders us from recognizing that not everything is bliss. With that said, it’s all one great big cycle that can only be broken by one thing—acceptance. To accept something is to acknowledge what is, and completely dispose of what isn’t. With acceptance we enable ourselves to restore that sense of sanity that is greatly needed to maintain a stable lifestyle. We not only diminish the possibility of becoming fixated with ideas that do not exist, but we no longer have the urge to falsify what we have always known to be true. Accepting a situation as is, is not an easy task— (especially when we’re under circumstances that we are totally not in favor of) –however, it is the root of maturation and selflessness.
-There’s no authenticity behind a society filled with impractical mindsets—someone has to sustain rationality.
There’s this song by Jhene Aiko titled “Real Now” (real mellow, nice track) and this one line always sticks out for me.
"Faking these smiles too often, I do not cry that often. I need to cry more often"
…I thought to myself and came to the conclusion that I feel exactly like that at this point in life. I’m not sure why…I just do. I don’t cry a lot nowadays. I ask myself have I become cold, numb…heartless. I know I’m not the latter. But the tears I want to cry are often not there to shed. It makes me feel less than normal. Almost inhuman. Not only that, but I’m expected to cry about certain things because I’m a woman & everyone in society agrees that women are criers (lol). What does that say about me?
There’s a myth about crying. People say you no longer care when the tears stop. …but that’s just not true. I don’t know when I became so tough, or who or what made me feel uneasy about crying. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s knowing that I feel completely insane because of it.
I don’t get personal. That’s one thing I very seldom do. By this I mean…I don’t publicly discuss matters that should remain private. Is this wrong? No…but It’s not necessarily “right” either. It’s all about perception & how you wish to be perceived. I find I’m more interested in the lives of people who have very little to say; those people who don’t spend hours on social platforms bragging about how successful they are, or complaining about their broken-hearts. Mystery— Mysterious things entice me. Therefore, I find it more fitting to be a little more mysterious than most.
You can assume whatever you want about me…and millions like me. However, it’s a rare day when you’ll be able to reference my social media accounts to pinpoint my “off” days. It’s a terrible feeling to read news that’s depressing…I try my hardest not to contribute to that cause.
If you can’t be happy, at least be positive. someone needs it. someone’s day will go a little smoother all because you decided to give off positive energy.
Tip #1: “Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own joke”.
- F. Scott Fiztgerald
Tip #2: Substitute “damn” every time you want to use the word “very”. Twain’s thought was that your editor would delete the “damn”, and leave the writing as it should be. The short version: Avoid using the word “very”.
Tip #3: Show, don’t tell. “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.
—All are excellent tips, but my favorite… Tip #3. I’ve learned that what works for me as a writer is my ability to “show”. I probably have one of the most descriptive writing styles I’ve ever known. I once thought detail caused my writing to be over-the-top or excessive, but I’ve found that it’s what sets me apart from other writers. What I envision when the sun sets is infinitely different than what you might imagine. It’s critical for me to be descriptive in my writing because my interpretation of one thing will never be written in the exact words of anyone else. As a writer I value that gift, and I value any opportunity I’m given to share it. It’s my way of inviting the reader into the world as I see it; welcoming each of them into my thoughts.
I’m becoming familiar with what works for me. So now, my question to you: What is it that works for you?
“It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.”—Henry Ward Beecher
For starters…I really really appreciate a good flick. For me, seeing a film for the first time is synonymous to an outer body experience. Because I’ve had the privilege to take multiple film courses (one of those being Film Analysis), I have a tendency to pick them apart based on elements such as: Mise en scene, Sound, and pretty much anything related to cinematography.
The first film you should consider is “The Prestige”, directed by Christopher Nolan (a favorite! -Dark Knight). Amazzzing film! I find myself engulfed from start to finish based on costumes alone! The story is about two highly competitive magicians who find themselves working on the exact same ultimate illusion. I won’t spoil the storyline by giving away more detail (if I say any more, I’d certainly ruin it)…so let’s just say, you HAVE to see it. This film will have you on the edge of your seat the entire time, only to shock you in the very end. You’ll NEVER figure this one out!.
The 2nd film you should consider is “Elevate” (a documentary). Have a soft spot for happy endings and sports? I do! Elevate is a documentary about 4 muslim boys from Senegal who all have one common goal: making it big in the world of basketball. The documentary starts by introducing each of the potential players who have a chance at being selected to play basketball for prep schools in the United States. This story is an inspiration to all who seek to accomplish a major goal…there’s sweat, tears, & most importantly determination. Once they arrive in the U.S. , they’re faced with many challenges. Language barriers, religion, americanized basketball…you name it, they’ve come face to face with it. Bottom line, see this film and watch as an amazing journey unfolds for these guys! Promise you’ll love it!
But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes. William Shakespeare
What exactly does it mean to be happy?
…Now there’s a question I can honestly say I have no answer to; at least not one that speaks for the masses (for my version of happiness will differ greatly from that of others).
I find myself waking to great news almost daily. I then feel all these emotions that are by most, considered the “norm”. Excited, Anxious, thrilled, overcome with joy…every possible feeling that indicates I’m happy about the news I’ve just received. And then like water to a flame…everything I just felt disappears and reality starts to set in. None of the great news I received has anything to do with me…my future…or the remaining hours of the day. —That realization makes me A: Selfish, or B: Not genuinely happy for other people.
Like most people, it’s difficult to be happy for others when we find that something in our own lives is unbalanced. Not “perfect”. Whether it’s our careers, family/social life, or romance…whatever it is we feel needs the most work in our lives, is usually that one thing we hate to hear great news about from other people.
Everything we do in life is done by choice. Choices WE make. With that said, I’d have to agree with Shakespeare…it makes us bitter (salty as they say now) to look at happiness through someone else’s eyes. Often times we’ll find that what we want and desire doesn’t differ much from the people around us. That means we’re all usually after the exact same things and it’s no surprise that some of us will get what we desire sooner than others. It’s inevitable which should make it much easier for us to decide how we’re going to respond to our friends when they score huge promotions, get engaged, or start families before we do. Oddly….I think It’s okay to feel jealous, but it is NOT okay to express a false sense of happiness for the people we love and care about.
Learning to make better choices, we soon learn what it means to be happy. No one is at fault for our unhappiness but ourselves. That has to be understood and drilled into the mind so that it registers when decision-making takes its course.
If happiness is what you seek, make decisions that will deliver that as an end result. Otherwise, become comfortable enough with the decision you made to view happiness through another’s eyes, and live with it.
“True belief belongs to the realm of real knowledge. Until you have knowledge, belief is mere coalesced opinions, however it may seem to you. Coalesced opinions serve for ordinary living.”—Ali Ibn Abi Talib
hmmm…think Serge Ibaka, Tristan Wilds, or Idris Elba. Can someone create a mix of those guys for me? (iKid iKid) Celebrity crushes are fun…chances are, you’ll never meet them, so you’ll never have to know if their personality blows (meaning, you’ll never have to stop crushing!) lol.
"…I’m runnin’, I’m runnin’, as fast as my mind will let me. I’m runnin’, I’m gunnin’, dream killers on the hunt for me.” -Frank Ocean
It’s important to focus (“eyes on the prize” they say), and as much controversy as you may encounter, never use it as an excuse to explain why you can not obtain your goals. There will be obstacles…(rejection, sickness, relationships) and a song of this caliber is a great reminder of that. Don’t let dream killers rob you of your ambition. You’ll need that to get to the finish line.