There’s this song by Jhene Aiko titled “Real Now” (real mellow, nice track) and this one line always sticks out for me.
“Faking these smiles too often, I do not cry that often. I need to cry more often”
…I thought to myself and came to the conclusion that I feel exactly like that at this point in life. I’m not sure why…I just do. I don’t cry a lot nowadays. I ask myself have I become cold, numb…heartless. I know I’m not the latter. But the tears I want to cry are often not there to shed. It makes me feel less than normal. Almost inhuman. Not only that, but I’m expected to cry about certain things because I’m a woman & everyone in society agrees that women are criers (lol). What does that say about me?
There’s a myth about crying. People say you no longer care when the tears stop. …but that’s just not true. I don’t know when I became so tough, or who or what made me feel uneasy about crying. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s knowing that I feel completely insane because of it.